when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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