So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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