walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
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I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
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If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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