we're blogging at a bar
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
