conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
