Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
