New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
