We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
