You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
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Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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