i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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