two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize