i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
