the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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