i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
