just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
