I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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