Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
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I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
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The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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