Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She is in my trunk
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
