is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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