she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
