I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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