Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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