Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
