2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
