I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
