I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
