Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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