Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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