I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
