love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
babies were throwing up all over the place
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
