they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
