p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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