I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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