im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
