I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar