I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?