you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head