You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
