I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
