why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
