Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
