They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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