my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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