his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
