there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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