dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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