How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
