Sry I called you an 8
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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