This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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