Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
