bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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