thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
