Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize