If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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