so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
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Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
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He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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