Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
