WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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