i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
