good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm both gender and math confused
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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