Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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