I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
