I'm drive I can fine osifer
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
