i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
